Archive for September, 2006

Odd Phone Call Today

September 21, 2006

Well, I gave in and asked for some help a couple of days ago, in the form of a very helpful Integrated Kabbalistic Healing session with my friend, Steven. (See his sites in the Blogroll to your right).

When I woke up this morning my head was clearer, since I’ve avoided all milk except a tiny bit in one cup of tea yesterday. I actually had nearly normal energy levels, too. So, at 8 am, I logged on and proceeded to answer email and then write the remaining articles that I owed to my friends in Colorado. It felt great to finish these as quickly as I have done. The last set took me forever. Of course, I was not in Ireland with nothing at all to do. That does focus me a bit on the writing.

Anyway, so there it was, 2 pm and I had done all the work currently assigned.

I idly called up a folder that I have saved to my desktop to remind me that I have it. It is some notes on Steven’s Advanced Meditation Workshop. Sorry, but that is what it was, and that is who it came from. I realize I mention him a lot. It’s just how it worked out. (Again, read his Anti-Guru blog. It’s quite good.)

Anyway, after doing a process called “All There Is” and another called “Past’s Future, Future’s Past,” I was again high as a kite, feeling connected and content with just sitting on the bench (after I placed newspaper there to soak up the water that had been raining down upon it all day).

I picked up “Life, the Universe and Everything” to finish. Near the end, Arthur has decided not to travel because he is at One with the Universe and he thinks he will just sit and be with that for a while, maybe have some tea and work a crossword puzzle or something. (The British version seems to have been edited quite a bit differently from the American, by the way.)

Anyway, I’m coming to the part about the phone call.

Finishing “Life, the Universe, and Everything” was satisfying in the way much of the week hasn’t been. So, I just sat on the bench enjoying the feeling of connectedness for a while. A couple of times this morning, it occurred to me to call a friend of mine who is so busy she doesn’t check email regularly, but it was too early to do so.

So, finally, I did call her at about 5 pm my time, 10 am hers.

I told her that unless something else to do, and the money to do it, showed up, I would be coming home pretty soon.

She told me she had just been thinking this morning, before I called, that she wished she knew someone in Europe she could send to Crete to check out hotels for a conference she will be hosting there next year. There is one person who lives in France, but she isn’t sure whether he would be available.

I told her I’d certainly consider going. It wasn’t till after I got off the phone that I got a little nervous about it. I don’t know a think about Greece. I wonder if there are enough English speakers that I could get by?

It’s a slim chance. Her magazine doesn’t have a ton of money to send people all over the world. It’s mostly just interesting that the phone call happened the way it did. I am feeling a bit more in tune with my world.

One Hour Later:

I didn’t think I would be going to Crete. Turns out it would cost her $500 to $2000 to send me. Nevermind!




Quote o’ the Day

September 19, 2006

I don’t update the quotes every day, but I do add some at times.

For today:

“If you don’t know, it’s not time.”

                      – Donald Epstein

Allergies, Rain & Humidity (A mundane post)

September 19, 2006

Apparently I am not going to get out of this trip without an “allergy attack.”

Day before yesterday I fished my pecan granola out of my bag, bought some nice cream to put on it as a treat and ate some with maybe 3 oz. of cream. I have tea each day with milk. I have had chowder, cheese, all with no problem. . . until yesterday.

Oddly, it started in my lower throat, upper lungs. I don’t have with me the things I usually take for cough and it doesn’t appear to be available here. I did try Breathe Easy to no avail. I guess I just have to . . . weather. . . it out. Yes, it rained yesterday and I was out walking.

I coughed my way to sleep and woke coughing a couple of times. I did sleep. But I also just took a nice hour nap. Still sniffling. *sigh* That really puts a  . . . damper. . . on things.

And I’m cold. There is a sauna here I can use for 2 Euro for 40 minutes. There is Indian food available. The spices are good for clearing my head, not so good for my joints. Hmm.

For now, I’m just going to sit here and work. I have some articles to write.



Baby Steps or Crossbow Launches?

September 15, 2006

Hi All,

I’ve been sent the same article on H’ono pono, a Hawaiian healing art, several times. In it a psychologist takes on the job of counselor to the inmates of a prison. He never sees the prisoners, but spends his day reading their files. While he reads, he repeats, “I love you. I’ sorry.”  The article says the inmates are healed through this. I just checked and for any reports on this and didn’t find it listed.

Here is another site I just received:

I decided to do some of this for myself based on the stories I’m hearing from my friends and clients. Whose story is not the same as my own?

When we sit in an Evening for the Work of Byron Katie with Steven Sashen, we are instructed to do our own Work while listening as he helps someone process. It works. In 5 years I have yet to hear a story I could not relate to.

So, two of my friends are going through big changes. Aubrey is moving out of a home she’s lived in for 10 years and away from her employer of 16 years. Erica’s mother has divorced her husband of 25 years or so, which is helping Erica to consider leaving a boyfriend she’s been with since high school.

Independently, they both wrote to me and said they were “taking baby steps” toward the changes they want to see.

Well, I have to look at this temporary “move” to Ireland. Where am I taking baby steps, rather than accepting the challenge put to me by astrologer, Rob Brezsny, that I quoted in my blog a couple of days ago?

Well, I have yet to walk more than a few blocks from the hostel. In fact, I stayed in a much less comfortable hostel for 3 nights, even having been told by a fellow student that there were more comfortable ones nearby.

Finally, I decided to walk up the hill to Sheila’s Hostel,, where I am now. The manager, Liam, is even looking into getting wireless internet access so I can work on my own computer! Now that’s a good manager! There is a large comfortable sitting area, breakfast room and rooftop picnic tables. Five working computers, too, compared to only the one before. I do have to pay 1 Euro per hour, but they are working and I can work here. That’s why I moved, actually. Still, a baby step.

Brezsny asked Sagittarians to look and see what we have going for us that is the equivalent of a crossbow that will launch us “higher, farther and faster than we’ve ever gone. (See “I Have Peace of Mind – Now What?”) You don’t have to be a Sagittarian to wonder about that for yourself.

So, I’m looking. What’s the crossbow?

I suspect it is . . . what do I call that wordless knowing that is the result of questioning my thinking? Or of doing breathwork? Or meditating?

That. That’s a crossbow.

It must be. I’m in Ireland!

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
         – J.R.R. Tolkein



“There is a theory . . .

September 12, 2006

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory that states that this has already happened.”

– Douglas Adams, H2G2

This blog is dedicated to Dr. Larry Edwards, the scientist who taught the Modern Cosmology portion of the class I just completed in Ireland, who has never read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by the Immortal Douglas Adams, long may he live.

Larry, I am working on the post-paper. I believe the title will be “One Song.” 

Larry’s site is If you love our planet, take a look.

Here is another H2G2 quote:

“Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.

And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.

Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terribly stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever.

This is not her story.

But it is the story of that terrible stupid catastrophe and some of its consequences.

It is also the story of a book, a book called The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – not an Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the terrible catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of by any Earthman.

Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.”

So it is. 

For over 20 years, whenever I am depressed, sad, crying, ill at ease or at loose ends as I have been this past few days, I have pulled out a very, very worn copy of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I have never managed to read to the end of the first chapter without laughing uproariously. I left that copy at home. However, I had a fairly fresh copy, purchased at the used bookstore sometime before I left, and that I gave to Larry, with tears in my eyes, partly because Douglas Adams died some years ago, at the age of 45 from a heart attack while exercising on a treadmill in California (at least that’s how I heard it) and partly because I have my own sadness about where to go and what to do and why I haven’t managed to do more with my life to date. You know, that stuff. Comes up every now and then.

Today, I changed rooms in the hostel for the 4th time. The first 2 nights it didn’t matter. I thought I was leaving soon. Last night was a bit noisy. I chose a quieter room for tonight. You’ll never guess what I found on the window ledge of that room.

Time’s up!

I found a copy of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams in the room!!! Just sitting there. Waiting for me.

That is the second book in the inaccurately named trilogy. I believe he ended up with 5 books in that series. The next are Life, the Universe, and Everything; So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish; and Mostly Harmless.

Steven says “All signs are self-painted.”  Damn, I’m good!

So, Larry, hopefully, is reading the first book, and I have just been gifted the second. I asked. The staff says I may take it with me.

In it I read today:

“You will do it. Don’t think you can escape your purpose. The Improbability Field controls you. You are in its grip. . . I don’t know if you are really capable of succeeding in your job. I think you will not be able to avoid it.”

Great painting. Do read Steven’s Anti-Guru blog, too. You’ll see how tongue in cheek this is.

So, after reading a couple of chapters, meditating and generally returning to a feeling of all is right with the world, I came down to the common room where a young Australian couple in jeans and their 30’s was helping a young girl from Spain, in jeans and her 20’s to write a CV… that’s what they call a resume here. They were being quite thorough, asking her questions about her experience, retyping it on this very computer.

The family from New Zealand was here eating lunch. Mom, Leslie, asked, “Who wants to go to the Blarney Stone castle with me today?” No one answered. No one wanted to go. They said they had seen enough castles. (I should be so lucky!) She was quite nice about going alone. Eventually, Vanessa went with her. You should read their travelogue. They have taken a year off to travel the world. The children have seen things I may never see. They are between about 12 and 14 years old. See for their story and pictures. Ben is playing games on the computer. Rebecca seems to be a bookworm like me. Dad is about, fixing dinner, I believe. Last night the mom talked with me and a woman from England, Mary, about how to market ourselves and put up web sites for the work we are doing. Mary is a massage therapist who is traveling with her partner, umm, John, I believe.

Oh, and I showed Rebecca and Ben how to tell what is true by noticing the corresponding physical feeling.

Helene is here, too. She lived a while in . . . I think it was Cove, known as the last port of call for the Titanic. . . and she didn’t like it there, so she’s here looking for work and trying to see if she likes Cork any better. She’s a sweetheart, very outgoing. Picked up some fruit for me when she went to the store yesterday.

The hostel hosts, Paul, Adrian, Jason, are about as helpful as one could hope for. They call cabs, stash bags and replace room keys that aren’t working and smile every time.

Miriam is from Spain. She’s here to immerse herself in learning English, as were another couple who were in my room a couple of nights ago. They want to be flight attendants and to do so they must learn English.

Do you see what is happening here? Community. World family. People who don’t speak any common language but English, and that they’re still learning.

There’s some news for Rob Brezsny’s site!  Check the Beauty & Truth Lab link. Looks like the top article right now is about E. O. Wilson. Another synchronicity. Larry talked about his work in the cosmology class a bit. I’ll read it after I finish the blog.

Me, I’ve met a fellow online who may help me with my next web site in exchange for some online work with Quantum Wealth. He may also go to Steven’s class in Amsterdam if that comes true.

Guys, Rob is right, the whole world is conspiring to shower us with blessings.

And I love it… love you… love me….


I Have Peace of Mind . . . So Now What?

September 11, 2006

Okay, so much for descriptions of where I am physically and geographically. You’ve got most of that. It’s raining today.

I feel at loose ends and bored. Okay, that’s not entirely peaceful. It’s a familiar feeling. I am not scared. I am not even lonely, although I’d love to have a traveling companion. I was invited to go along with someone I met here, but it didn’t feel right. Oh, and at least 3 men have accosted me and tried to start conversations with things like, “Can I buy you a drink?” That would be “no.”

I don’t have a plan, other than following whatever feels like it is Next. It would be nice to know what that is. I get little ideas, follow through or space out. 🙂  Etc. I have a little bit of money, but no job, no car, no home and don’t know anyone here.

If I could have 2 wishes right now, I’d ask for a sufficient flow of money and teaching work that I love . . . in or near Boulder. 3 wishes and I’d ask for a car, too.

I’ve already got peace of mind, which is what I used to ask for when thinking of wishes. If I think I’ve lost it, I know exactly where to find it. So, now what?

My horoscopes are hilariously to the point:

Jonathan Cainer,  

A car, a road, a destination. Gas in the tank. Time on your side. Just one thing. No key with which to start the engine. It doesn’t take much to turn an attractive scenario into an irritatingly unsatisfactory one. But then, thankfully, the reverse is also true. A dungeon, dank and dark. Malicious wardens. Vile food. Then, just one more thing. A lowered ladder, leading to an open window. The addition of this one hopeful factor totally changes the outlook. Even your biggest problem has a solution now.

Rob Brezsny, for Sagittarius, Sept 7:

An adventurer named Brian Walker has plans to climb aboard a homemade missile and launch himself 20 miles into the sky using a giant crossbow. According to Wired magazine, he has figured out all the angles, including how to descend, and will probably pull off the feat without killing himself. It so happens that you also have the potential to propel yourself higher, farther, and faster than maybe you’ve ever gone, though in a safer and more metaphorical way. What’s the closest symbolic analogue you have to a giant crossbow?

And last, but not least, Eric Francis,

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
You seem to have liberated yourself from the idea of success and have suddenly stumbled into the real thing. The things you say and the thoughts you think are particularly influential now, so chose every word and keep your mind tuned only to the intelligence and wisdom that comes only from kindness. Speaking of choosing, you would appear to have more opportunities than you can really handle, or than you want to. So you will need to be selective, but you do have friends who would benefit from opportunities you can pass along to them.

Steven reminded me that “All signs are self-painted.” True.

I have some good ideas, the Ann O’Johnson book, the resurrection charm, teaching, writing, etc. I need a business partner who can help me implement them in a way that makes money.

So, that’s another facet of this thing I call my life at the moment.


Bru Bar & Hostel, Cork, Ireland

September 10, 2006

What’s it like? Some of you are asking.

You know that story of the old man who sits at the train station? It’s like that.

If you don’t know it, basically, newcomers would stop and ask the old man what this new place was like. He would say, “What’s it like where you came from?” Sometimes they’d say, “Oh, people were awful. It was hard to find work. I didn’t like the weather.” You know the spiel. The old man would say, “Well, I reckon it’s kinda like that here.” Others would say “Oh, it was wonderful. I kind of hated to leave. We had so many friends. I left a good job. The weather was gorgeous, even when it wasn’t.” And the old man would say, “Well, I reckon it’s kinda like that here.”

I’m good. I’m talking with people from many different countries. Most of them are younger than I am. So far, I’ve met people from France, Canada, Israel, and England mostly, so far. There were a couple of girls who spoke Spanish. I was glad to be able to tell them the other 2 computers weren’t working, just this one, in their language because they didn’t understand my English. 

There is a bar next door, connected to this hostel. Not so bad. In this room I couldn’t hear them like I could last Saturday night. The community room has 3 computers at a long bar on one wall, a large TV, a bunch of little stools, a coffee table. One corner of the wall is painted in some pirate looking style with a ship and a map and a note that Cork has been a city for 900 years and inhabited since 3000 BC. I’ve seen a standing stone circle, a small one. Didn’t feel anything particularly there. Just stones. Interesting.

It’s been very humid, but not raining much. Bright (as they say here) for the past 3 days. My hair and skin love the moisture.

The dorm room has 3 bunk beds of silver metal tubing in a fairly tiny room with one window to the roof of another part of the building. Can’t sit up on the bottom one, but it’s worth not having to climb. Last night ( I know what you’re going to think, but no. ) Last night it was me and 5 men in the room. One of them is a young 18 year old from Quebec. He practiced his English with me and we talked about being spiritually awake and about sexual reassignment surgery he is considering. I did The Work with him on “Men always deceive me.” He said he felt more peaceful when we were done. He’s traveling a bit more around Ireland and invited me to go. I think I’m staying here, though.

There is a kitchen next to this room. There are 4 loaves of white bread, 4 containers of milk, 3 kinds of cereal, white sugar, jam, tea bags and instant coffee. There are stove, fridge and microwave. Approximately 70 people probably stayed here last night because the place had only 2 beds yesterday morning when I asked for one of them. We’re 2 blocks from the bus station on MacCurtain Street. I left my 2 heavy bags there for 5.60 Euro per day. I carried them up here last time. 

The shops are small and close together, but there is nearly everything you could need: vegetarian restaurant, Chinese, Thai, Indian, Irish, pubs, a juice bar (opens at noon, think I may go), a pharmacy, banks, things like that. The colors and shapes are different. There’s a river between this street and the one the bus station is on.

Everyone is friendly and I feel that my person and my belongings are safe here. There are a lot of college students. A few people share my interests and are fun to talk with. Pretty much like where I’m from.



A Day in Class in Ireland

September 6, 2006

I wake up in a B & B named Cullough Bay down the road from Anam Cara. The room is PINK. I mean PINK. There are 2 twin beds, a bathroom with a shower & toilet. There is a window with a PINK curtain. It’s been foggy & cloudy up till today. We are seeing a little sun today, and it’s cooler.

I go downstairs to a common eating area with ab out 4 little wooden tables with nice little wooden chairs for breakfast. My co-students are there. Fruit, yogurt, toast and cereal are provided. The hostess, Therese, offers to fix bacon and eggs. Most of us decline.

Most of them walk down to the class site. I ask for a ride. I tried walking and it took forever and my calves were hurting. I’m trying to avoid nightshades, salt, vinegar and lemon, but haven’t totally done that.

There are 10 minutes for announcements. Then 30 minutes for “Body Prayer” where 19 adults prance around to the voice of a junior instructor who admonishes us to honor the “Great Mother” and stuff like that. You’d think I’d like that kind of thing. Sometimes I do. I love Dances of Universal Peace and have always enjoyed chanting and such, but there is something very forced and false about this … teacher? … group? … me? Whatever the case, I’m not feeling guided to do much of it.

At 9:30 we sit in a flagstone floored sunken sitting area with a couple of couches and a bunch of plastic chairs and listen to Dr. Larry Freeman talk about Cosmology with the intent of connecting us to a larger Universe story that helps us to relate to the Earth in a way that we might be able to make decisions and live so as to preserve our ecosystem. He’s an Artisan Scholar with dry with and humor. He refers to himself as a “splitter.” I am a “lumper.” He respects both.

Then lunch is served. It has been good homemade food. I almost wish it wasn’t so good. Homemade brown breads, fish chowder, fish casserole, roast chicken, and lots and lots of salad. Two of our participants, a mother and daughter are on the living food diet that I prefer. Helps me to have them here, too. But I didn’t turn down the fish!

Oddly, I am enjoying the scientist far more than the spiritual teachers here. While none of them are based in the type of reality I learned from Inquiry, he’s a little closer. The spiritual type teachers here are a bit pompous and way too full of ritual.

*** I’ll add to this later. Lunch is ready. ***

Okay, it’s Thursday here, about 12:45 pm. A bus leaves in 15 minutes to take us to the next “sacred site.” I am hoping the Art as Meditation teacher doesn’t read this over my shoulder.

I came here, I thought, because I’d get to look at “Celtic Spirituality;” however, I’ve been getting a lot more out of the “Cosmology. I’ve found the afternoon professor and the “body prayer” leader to be too much into ritual, not very authentic or inspired for me. I love some rituals, of course. I like dancing. I love singing. Prayer, I like. But what has been here feels like all form and little content. I’m not connecting to it so well.

The Cosmology teacher, Dr. Larry Edwards, has a web site I haven’t made time to look at it yet. The Art as Meditation teacher, Mara Freeman, has one, too. I don’t have it handy. I’ll edit it in later.

So, the rituals and prayers at the standing stones yesterday did not do much for me. I left the group and wandered up a little hill nearby and found another circle of stones, boulders, more flat, not standing. There were 10 stones with one in the center. Not sure why, but I was more comfortable up there.

In the evening, there’s dinner. We sit at 2 different tables. One inside near the kitchen, the other outside on a sun porch. I’ve done both. Last night, Mara led some of the group in learning a Gaelic song. I stayed for part of it, then got a ride to my B & B where 3 of us sat in that sun room discussing our programs and related themes. We talked about how to write our final paper in a way that was meaningful to us. I got some good suggestions. We connected. *That* was one of the best parts of my day.

Same for this morning. 5 of the 6 of us who are at the same B & B discussed things over breakfast. I told them about “Translucent Revolution.” They were very interested and shared similar experiences. Best part, so far, of today.