All One

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that I want. It said, “All One.”

Wouldn’t that be a beautiful world to work toward? No?

All One… that’s GOD, y’all!

Spider Robinson goes into this in most, if not all, of his books. Especially read “Time Pressure” if you have trouble with the idea of strangers knowing about you.

Today Becky, someone I used to be fairly close to, said one of the most wonderful things anyone has ever said to me or about me:

  “When I have a close relationship with you I have a relationship with everybody”

I love that and hope it is true. 

Yes, I took that out of context. She was complaining that I might say something about her to other friends of mine that she did not know. Her complete sentence was:

“When I have a close relationship with you I have a relationship with everybody – potentially people I don’t know, people with varying agendas or biases, varying
worldviews, etc.”

It’s true no matter where I put the period.  

I can’t find a problem with her or you or anyone else talking about me to others and thereby creating a relationship for me with someone I “don’t know.”

That one is a little tricky. In a way, I know everybody. So do you. They’re all you, or all me or whatever that is.

Sure, we’re not always aware of that place. We’re often in the black/white, right/wrong, you/me, us/them of this beautiful creative dual world. Okay. So?

I know that I have a really different take on these things than most people do. Frankly, it is one of my most precious gifts and something I cherish about myself. I can be sad sometimes when a former close friend like Becky chooses to distance herself (seem to distance herself) from me out of what looks like fear or separation or something. (I don’t really know. I’m not in her head, but that’s how it looks from what seems to be “out here.”)

I ran into this same thing with another friend. Well, he’s an ex-lover, but I’m not supposed to say that. No wait, I can say that part. It gets all confusing for me when I have to remember what I can and cannot say. I loved my ex-husband, Marvin, for completely agreeing with me about just sticking to the truth and not worrying about who we could say what to. That really worked for me. Totally.

Anyway, this lover’s name is Cricket. Well, that’s what I call him. Anyway, I’m about to go to some parties where he will know more people than I do. It’s a group he’s been hanging out with for a couple of years. One of my friends invited me, and I decided it was worth it for many reasons.

Remember the “Medieval Girl” blog?  It was right before this one.

This group has guys with long hair! I just have to go and see if I might have anything in common with them. Or the women, for that matter. Maybe people with similar interests. I’d love it if they do.

So, Cricket writes me and says, “my personal life is private.” I replied and said, “My personal life is public” and asked how he wants me to handle this. He says I can say we dated and that’s all anyone needs to know. Well, we actually lived together for nearly a year, so I’m going to go ahead and say that. I ran it by him. But I know the stuff he doesn’t want people to know.

It’s the stuff I’m blogging about all the time!

Sex, connection, relationships, etc.

What’s not to share about that?

Well, okay, I may not choose to share all of that with everyone all the time, but I share it with my friends and I do hope that by extension I am sharing it with all of their friends!  Good grief! This isn’t just anyone they would talk to about me! These are their friends!  

And so what if I don’t like all their friends? Or so what if they get me all wrong and don’t “understand” whatever that is? What harm does that do me?

If they really want to know, they can get to know me. If they don’t, okay.

So what if they publish it in tomorrow morning’s newspaper? And the whole world reads their opinion about me? People survive that all the time. Hell, they make good money off it!  

I can keep dealing with who and what is in front of me.

I somehow don’t feel threatened by it the same way Becky does.

What other people think of me is really none of my business.

Love,

Stacy

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