The WHAT of the WHO???

Some body hand me a trash can – quick!!!  I think I’m going to barf.

I cannot tell you how revolting I find it when someone goes off on this idealization of the “feminine” or the “goddess” or WHATEVER this is all supposed to be.

I got an email from someone I know on a list who was attempting to share a video that she says has something to do with Joe Biden having something to do with some absurd and mythical thing she called “the emergence of the goddess.”

I never got into that sort of thing – even when I was trying to learn something about tantra and so-called “sacred sexuality”  and trying to teach such things. As you recall, I got so annoyed with the whole idea and the people who were making such folderol about sex that I abandoned the entire thing – just about the time a book came out with my name on it called “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being a Sex Goddess.”

Someone recently suggested I write a parody called “The Sex Goddess’ Guide to Being a Complete Idiot.”  Well, that would not be hard to do. I have plenty of examples right here in Boulder City.

Here is how you do it:

1.  Wear funny clothes and weird make-up that supposedly expresses your Inner Feminine – boys get to play dress-up, too. Nothing is sacred.  Try anything, especially if it is pink or purple.

2.  Prance around, preferably in a circle, and ascribe deep and serious meaning to each movement you must make in this ritual.

3.  Chant meaningless syllables.

4.  Burn incense & candles.

5.  Get so wrapped up in all this drama that you are so busy putting on a show that you couldn’t possibly be attractive to the opposite sex.

6.  Start conversations that begin with sure-fire idiocy like “Well, my teacher says . . . ” or “Have you ever had an extended orgasm?” or “Have you taken (tantra workshop, pseudo-American Indian sex workshop, fake Hindu ceremony class, etc.) ?”

7.  Next, stare deeply into the eyes of a total stranger and ask them to breathe in and out with you. The pushier you are, the better.

8.  Be sure to part by putting your hands together prayer-style and bow, saying “namaste.” Kind of puts a real inauthentic ring to the whole charade.

 

I’m not that good at parodies. This is Dawn’s forte, but this will do.

There. Got some of that out of my system. Feel much better.

You?

Stacy

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4 Responses to “The WHAT of the WHO???”

  1. Ed Says:

    Grin. What a delight to read. I particularly like #6 through #8, but #6 most of all.

  2. Stacy Says:

    Thank you!

    It was fun to write. I’ll never match the inestimable Reverend Doctor Mister Shri Sashen (http://www.sashen.com/blog) but it was fun to take my turn at it!

    ~ Stacy

  3. Michelle Says:

    I enjoy reading whatever you write, Ms. Stacy, but here I must draw the line:

    “2. Prance around like a 4-year old in a singing circle at recess.”

    I’m a big fan of prancing. *And* singing. AND recess.
    Where’s the fun if I can’t do all that?

    :>) Michelle

  4. Stacy Says:

    All well and good, but doing it with the idea that you are “channeling” some “energy” or with all the pretentiousness that I see in these circles, it is not the same as just having a fun time.

    I myself love Dances of Universal Peace. They are a little pretentious, too. It was just a small part of the whole picture my parody was trying to paint.

    Carry on with your prancing & singing! 😉

    Stacy

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