Archive for the ‘12 Steps’ Category

Letting Go

August 3, 2008

Hi,

This post is partly to test and see if y’all are getting the feeds that I put out a new blog.  If you get this, would you write and let me know? Thank you!

So, for the last several years, I’ve felt like I was letting go and letting go and letting go.  I moved and let go of homes and roommates and even once in a while, my favorite place to live. I sold a car to go to Ireland and another thinking I was going to Berkeley.  I work temp jobs and let go of each one. Blah blah. You’ve heard about that.

The unexpected parts are things like letting go of new agey ideas, letting go of thinking astrology means anything, letting go of thinking the world needs to be changed or that I need to “improve” myself.

I still have dusty places to clean up with many of these things, and God (whoever that is) knows what I will let go of next, but I am nowhere near in the same place as I was even a few months ago. I notice this when listening to others. A friend I’ve known for some years started telling me about how Monday is Barak Obama’s birthday. That’s nice. And he is a Leo and something about Venus trining Pluto. My friend turns to me and says, “Stacy, you know what *that* means.”  And I just cracked up laughing and said, “Yes. Nothing.”

I could do that with him and not have him take it personally. He said, “Oh. Right, I know, but I still have fun with it.” OK, and I still find it hilarious that anyone thinks it means anything.

There was some discussion of other things that mean nothing. I enjoyed it.

Later in the conversation a new guy at the table said, “Well, that’s just an addiction.” And Steven replied, “I don’t even know what that is.” And I went, “Oh my, another one.” What does it mean that there is no such thing as an addiction? I hardly know how to tell you now that its’s so obvious.

It’s like the way humans survived by separating things we saw or heard from the background. It does us no good to miss the lion that stands out from the field. We had *better* notice that or die.

But what that led us to, was to thinking that these random and rare events, like lions, were a “pattern.” They’re not. The grass is more of a pattern.

Now think about addictions. Isn’t it true that one is not “engaging in the addiction” far more often than one is? Wow. What a freeing thought!

A junkie doesn’t sit there high all the time or a cigarette addict isn’t lighting up all the time. It happens once in a while. Sure, maybe 8 or 10 times a day, but what about the *rest* of the time!?  *That’s* the more common event – when they are *not* shooting up, lighting up or whatever.

I just marvel. I wish I had thought of these things myself and many, many years ago.

Oh. And another one. My friend, Pablo, called me, all excited, “Stacy, I just made $1000 on a $2500 investment.” That is the worst thing that could have happened. It makes him think he knows something about investing. It will cause him to *lose* far more money than he ever “wins.” I can almost guarantee it. I suggested he read “Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets” by Taleb. 

He asked if I had read it. Not yet, but I have it in a stack of similar books that I am reading to educate myself on how to think straight. Probably he will dismiss the book because I haven’t read it. Oh well. It might save him hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, but that is truly none of my business. It’s his to lose.

Me?  I’m going to read the book. Just as soon as I finish “How We Know What Isn’t So,” by Thomas Gilovich.  Oh, and “Smoke and Mirrors,” by Neil Gaiman. That one is fantasy – and labeled as such.

It’s the ideas that aren’t labeled as fantasy, we might want to learn to recognize.

Love,

Stacy

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Peace Now – Inner Peace Thoughts for 9/11

September 11, 2007

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310

Hi,

Just in case some of you want to know about this . . .

Please Pass It On to Others!

The Call is Thursday 9/13

Do you know Gay Hendricks? He’s written over 30 best-selling transformational books — books about relationships, breathing, manifestation, even golf!

Gay is are offering an upcoming teleclass that I’d like to invite you to attend at no charge.

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310

Here’s Gay’s message about the class:

   When I was in Boulder recently, I had dinner with an old friend,    Steven Sashen. He’s one of the best “system thinkers” I know. If you want to know what REALLY makes something work, or how to make something more powerful or efficient, he’s your guy. He and I are teaming up on a new meditation course that will be offered via teleseminar.

   Steven is a longtime meditator. And when he turned his systems-thinking scope on meditation he discovered something that truly impressed me, a set of insights and practices that I wish I’d had 30 years ago. (Some of you know that I’m a longtime  meditator–in fact, I haven’t missed a day of meditation since 1973. So, anything that fine-tunes meditation is right up my alley.)

   If I’d had Steven’s insights and techniques, I think it would have accelerated my practice and my spiritual growth by years. He’s taken people who are new to meditation or who couldn’t make it work  for them – he’s even worked with teenagers and homeless people–and after just a few minutes of instruction, they’ve had experiences of peace, and deep spiritual insights that take most meditators decades to find.

   Steven’s techniques work well for advanced meditators, too. If you already have a meditation or spiritual practice, you can make an almost instant leap to a new depth and expansion.

   With Steven’s techniques you don’t need to stop (or even slow down) your thoughts and you don’t need to take time out from your busy schedule. You can do them practically anywhere.

   I could tell you more, it would be better for you to experience it yourself. So, I’ve arranged a way for you to do that.

       Go to http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310
  
   When you get to the site, fill out the registration form and I’ll let you know about an upcoming free teleclass where you can discover for yourself how easily you can find deep body relaxation, greatly expanded awareness, and real inner-peace…even while the kids are demanding your attention or work is getting nuts.

   I hope you’ll join me for this new and exciting opportunity,

   Gay Hendricks

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310

The teleclass is going to be really fun and interesting and there’s a chance to get a $400 gift. I hope you can make it, too.

presented by Garuda, Inc.

Have fun!

Love,
Stacy

“It is no sign of mental health to be well-adjusted to an insane world.”

                 The Dalai Lama

That Dream May Come True

August 31, 2007

Hi y’all,

I had to share Eric Francis’ words for Paul, who is a November 8, 1958 Scorpio and myself this week. It’s perfect, if you know the story. He has loved me for 35 years. And you all know how I feel about love & marriage.

Next week we will take the next steps toward being together and see how it flies.

What I read here is that our mutual dreams of living and teaching may work together. We hope to pool our life experiences and share them with others, writing and teaching . . . and living. 

And yes, we both realize nobody needs us to teach them anything. We just can’t seem to stop. We’re having that much fun!

www.planetwaves.net

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
This week’s eclipse of the Moon in your empathic sign Pisces has helped put your priorities on the right track. Indeed, you were in danger of becoming so focused on work and achievement that you nearly forgot your deeper calling as a passionate, creative person. Yet these traits, of your soul as well as your personality, are newly unveiled. You are free to take risks you would not have dreamed of the past few years, and this will help you on what promises to be an intriguing, challenging path for the next few years of carving out a special place for yourself in the world — a place among your friends, your professional colleagues, and among those whose ideas and visions help shape life on our planet. These may come in small ways, but be on notice, they may come in rather large ones as well.
 
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
The main attraction of the year has yet to happen, but it’s drawing you toward it with all the intensity of the Galactic Core, where it occurs: a conjunction of Jupiter and Pluto in Sagittarius. If you feel like your life has been leading to a deep breakthrough or a revelation; if you feel like you are slowly coming into inheritance of some deep spiritual truth, but on the most personal level; this is likely to be it. That being said, most people miss these things as casually as missing a city bus. What can I say? Well, this is about you, but it’s not entirely about you. As Saturn moves into Virgo, punctuated by a dramatic solar eclipse, remember that your true calling is service. To perform your service, you must be exceptionally self-aware, yet constantly connected to the golden thread that weaves together all people, all cultures, and all humanitarian ideals.
 
 

Love,

Stacy

Inspiration from (and on) My Birthday

December 19, 2006

Good morning,

I am sitting on a very comfortable couch in a luxurious home on the side of a mountain watching the Sun rise over Boulder on my birthday. (Thank you!  You know who you are. Sunrises are *amazing* here!) Both my new car and a loaned Subaru Forester (I want my own, in a darker green and standard by the end of the year.) sit outside. I feel SO very blessed and supported on my birthday. I’m getting emails, e-cards and phone calls from people I love.

Since I was 5 years old I have known that I want to teach. I had some … hmm… childhood complications.

Incest. Really, my thoughts *about* incest, and that’s what I’ve learned. That is very different.

The experiences I have had in the life that followed are the very soil in which my teaching and my learning are planted. Sometimes it’s manure, but it matures.

I’ve had some trepidation about speaking in front of large groups of people I do not know. At the same time, I suddenly felt connected and high a few years ago, when I was talking on sexual surrogacy to a class at CU and someone said, “How did you get started doing this?”

I took a deep breath and looked around me. I decided that in a class at CU it was pretty much guaranteed most if not all of them were adult enough to hear my answer. I told them that my response to incest was to explore sexuality long and hard. (All my puns are intentional. I didn’t say it quite that way to them. I wasn’t that quick.Oh, and I no longer do sexual surrogacy. I’m way too monogamous for it.

I’ve trained in Rebirthing/Vivation Breathwork, NLP, Institute for Spiritual Partnerships, Work of Byron Katie, Quantum Wealth, astrology, psychology (master’s), ministry (working on a doctorate), and more. I’ve led support groups and counseled and coached privately on spirituality, relationships, sexuality, career, meditation, goals, gosh everything. I’m the author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being a Sex Goddess.” (Look it up on Amazon) Yet somehow, I often stop at merely being a contributing student in the front of the class (or writing long blogs and emails to lists, yes.)

What I am doing this year, is stepping up to the front and speaking to groups, in person.

Actually, I’d just as soon sit in a circle and talk, as often as that format is possible. I don’t know any more or any less than anyone else, so I don’t have to stand at the front of a room to establish some kind of authority. Either I know what I’m talking about or I don’t. In which case, I’d love to be enlightened.

This birthday, I am coming out of the closet as a teacher. I am also coming out of the closet as a writer and a counselor.

I could use some tech support. I have 2 dormant web domains and one that needs updating and need to establish some others for other purposes, like soon. I can trade for my services, especially Clutter Clearing, Work of Byron Katie, and Quantum Wealth. I would also be happy to share, in person, a couple of tastes of Steven’s IAM meditations, which will soon be available to the public.

If any of you know of any teaching positions or groups I could speak to or have any ideas at all about this, I am soliciting support here, now, from you. I would appreciate any and all suggestions, not limited to positive ones, either. I need support and people, large groups of people I don’t know, to do this.  🙂

I posted the above to a few of the email lists I’m on. They are most patient with me when I run on like that. Maybe I do have something to say that someone wants to hear. Writing to email lists has been a “safe” way to say things. So, has writing this blog.  

I am really enjoying the day. I feel very, very good about the coming year. I really appreciate my readers. You’ve given me a place to practice. Last year I came out of the closet to write about myself here.

Writing has the advantage of giving me time to think and edit. At the same time, when I first started, it was hard. I was sending my little heart out in print with no way of knowing how it would be received. This year I’ve spent some time on Katie’s question, “Whose business are you in when you think that thought?” Now it doesn’t matter so much how this is received. That’s completely none of my business.

It’s time to take this out into the world in person again. I’ve gone from doing mostly individual work and small support groups, to writing, and now I am going public to large groups of people I do not (yet) know. Katie teaches that “reality is kinder than your thinking.” I know it is. I’m ready to experience that in teaching.

Thank you for listening.  I may add to this some throughout the day.

Love,
Stacy

“To teach is to demonstrate.”

                  – A Course in Miracles

The Secret – Not!

December 18, 2006

A colleague & friend in London just sent me a well-put opinion on “The Secret, ” a popular recent, “you create your own reality” New Age movie, from someone named Burt Harding, www.BurtHarding.com. I’m also A Course in Miracles student, not to mention The Work of Byron Katie, and my understanding of Truth has developed a lot in the past few years with that.

Here’s an excerpt from his newsletter:

“In our fascination with seeking we are ready to buy into anything that promises personal power, longer life and a happier and healthier future. But is this really what it’s all about? The path of working with manifesting things in your life can be called the path of magic (coined by A Course in Miracles).

This path of magic is our ego’s craving and blocks our immediate seeing of what-is here and now. One of the great illusions is that we can find happiness through attachments and material attainments.”

Isn’t anybody else noticing this?

I sent this note to a couple of my email lists.

I received many, many well thought out replies to this post and I appreciate them all. I was surprised at the depth of this discussion.

Thank you. I wish everyone had pressed “reply to all” so you could have seen them.

 What I have found so far is that reality is sort of like the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

 A better interpretation was offered by Steven Sashen, author of the upcoming book on quantum wealth. He pointed out that in the yin yang  symbol, one side represents the areas in which we can take action and do our part to move toward whatever we are moving toward as a goal.

The other side, though, is the things we cannot control, and we would not  want to! That’s where the Mystery happens. There “the Universe does what  the Universe does.” Or, “This or something better, Thy Will be done.”

Our job is to stay on our side of that line.

 (Steven actually used the word “magic,” but in order not to confuse it  with “magical thinking” or attempts to control reality, things outside of  our control, I’m saying Mystery and the Universe.)

One of the things that helps me stay on my side of that wavy line down the  middle of the yin yang is to ask Byron Katie’s questions, especially:

       “Whose business am I in when I think that thought?”

We’ve found three kinds of business:

God’s (use your preferred term) – the weather, the stock market, events, other people
Someone Else’s – their opinions, thoughts, feelings, actions, etc.
Mine – well, check inside, yours may differ

It was Kathy Adams who, about this time last year, really helped me to focus on this idea more, when she told me that she had been checking and finding out that almost nothing was her business. I’m discovering that, too.

Peace seems to be the result.

Peace on Earth, Good Will toward All,
Love,

Stacy