Archive for the ‘Drugs’ Category

Letting Go

August 3, 2008

Hi,

This post is partly to test and see if y’all are getting the feeds that I put out a new blog.  If you get this, would you write and let me know? Thank you!

So, for the last several years, I’ve felt like I was letting go and letting go and letting go.  I moved and let go of homes and roommates and even once in a while, my favorite place to live. I sold a car to go to Ireland and another thinking I was going to Berkeley.  I work temp jobs and let go of each one. Blah blah. You’ve heard about that.

The unexpected parts are things like letting go of new agey ideas, letting go of thinking astrology means anything, letting go of thinking the world needs to be changed or that I need to “improve” myself.

I still have dusty places to clean up with many of these things, and God (whoever that is) knows what I will let go of next, but I am nowhere near in the same place as I was even a few months ago. I notice this when listening to others. A friend I’ve known for some years started telling me about how Monday is Barak Obama’s birthday. That’s nice. And he is a Leo and something about Venus trining Pluto. My friend turns to me and says, “Stacy, you know what *that* means.”  And I just cracked up laughing and said, “Yes. Nothing.”

I could do that with him and not have him take it personally. He said, “Oh. Right, I know, but I still have fun with it.” OK, and I still find it hilarious that anyone thinks it means anything.

There was some discussion of other things that mean nothing. I enjoyed it.

Later in the conversation a new guy at the table said, “Well, that’s just an addiction.” And Steven replied, “I don’t even know what that is.” And I went, “Oh my, another one.” What does it mean that there is no such thing as an addiction? I hardly know how to tell you now that its’s so obvious.

It’s like the way humans survived by separating things we saw or heard from the background. It does us no good to miss the lion that stands out from the field. We had *better* notice that or die.

But what that led us to, was to thinking that these random and rare events, like lions, were a “pattern.” They’re not. The grass is more of a pattern.

Now think about addictions. Isn’t it true that one is not “engaging in the addiction” far more often than one is? Wow. What a freeing thought!

A junkie doesn’t sit there high all the time or a cigarette addict isn’t lighting up all the time. It happens once in a while. Sure, maybe 8 or 10 times a day, but what about the *rest* of the time!?  *That’s* the more common event – when they are *not* shooting up, lighting up or whatever.

I just marvel. I wish I had thought of these things myself and many, many years ago.

Oh. And another one. My friend, Pablo, called me, all excited, “Stacy, I just made $1000 on a $2500 investment.” That is the worst thing that could have happened. It makes him think he knows something about investing. It will cause him to *lose* far more money than he ever “wins.” I can almost guarantee it. I suggested he read “Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets” by Taleb. 

He asked if I had read it. Not yet, but I have it in a stack of similar books that I am reading to educate myself on how to think straight. Probably he will dismiss the book because I haven’t read it. Oh well. It might save him hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, but that is truly none of my business. It’s his to lose.

Me?  I’m going to read the book. Just as soon as I finish “How We Know What Isn’t So,” by Thomas Gilovich.  Oh, and “Smoke and Mirrors,” by Neil Gaiman. That one is fantasy – and labeled as such.

It’s the ideas that aren’t labeled as fantasy, we might want to learn to recognize.

Love,

Stacy

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Peace Now – Inner Peace Thoughts for 9/11

September 11, 2007

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310

Hi,

Just in case some of you want to know about this . . .

Please Pass It On to Others!

The Call is Thursday 9/13

Do you know Gay Hendricks? He’s written over 30 best-selling transformational books — books about relationships, breathing, manifestation, even golf!

Gay is are offering an upcoming teleclass that I’d like to invite you to attend at no charge.

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310

Here’s Gay’s message about the class:

   When I was in Boulder recently, I had dinner with an old friend,    Steven Sashen. He’s one of the best “system thinkers” I know. If you want to know what REALLY makes something work, or how to make something more powerful or efficient, he’s your guy. He and I are teaming up on a new meditation course that will be offered via teleseminar.

   Steven is a longtime meditator. And when he turned his systems-thinking scope on meditation he discovered something that truly impressed me, a set of insights and practices that I wish I’d had 30 years ago. (Some of you know that I’m a longtime  meditator–in fact, I haven’t missed a day of meditation since 1973. So, anything that fine-tunes meditation is right up my alley.)

   If I’d had Steven’s insights and techniques, I think it would have accelerated my practice and my spiritual growth by years. He’s taken people who are new to meditation or who couldn’t make it work  for them – he’s even worked with teenagers and homeless people–and after just a few minutes of instruction, they’ve had experiences of peace, and deep spiritual insights that take most meditators decades to find.

   Steven’s techniques work well for advanced meditators, too. If you already have a meditation or spiritual practice, you can make an almost instant leap to a new depth and expansion.

   With Steven’s techniques you don’t need to stop (or even slow down) your thoughts and you don’t need to take time out from your busy schedule. You can do them practically anywhere.

   I could tell you more, it would be better for you to experience it yourself. So, I’ve arranged a way for you to do that.

       Go to http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310
  
   When you get to the site, fill out the registration form and I’ll let you know about an upcoming free teleclass where you can discover for yourself how easily you can find deep body relaxation, greatly expanded awareness, and real inner-peace…even while the kids are demanding your attention or work is getting nuts.

   I hope you’ll join me for this new and exciting opportunity,

   Gay Hendricks

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310

The teleclass is going to be really fun and interesting and there’s a chance to get a $400 gift. I hope you can make it, too.

presented by Garuda, Inc.

Have fun!

Love,
Stacy

“It is no sign of mental health to be well-adjusted to an insane world.”

                 The Dalai Lama

Meditation

March 27, 2007

Meditation is one of my favorite things.

Mother taught me to meditate when I was very young. I remember laying in my bed, finding a kind of floaty feeling and staying there. I’ve IM’d her to see what she can tell me.

Meditation can be ecstatic, blissful, joyous.

But we get the mistaken idea that it’s going to take us years of sitting in a cave. Not so.

Instant Advanced Meditation – Free Samples
http://www.advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?af=570391

Meditation: The Art of Ecstacy was a book by Rajneesh/Osho. I loved that book. The meditation Osho describes is so joyful, so fluid, so connected. I recently learned that he was also a Sagittarian like myself. I read a few of his book, loved them, but never thought to find him or his classes.

I also remember a book called “Complete Meditation” by Steven Kravette. It seems to be out of print now. What I always liked about that book was the amazing number of meditation techniques described. It seemed like anything and everything could be a meditation. It has always helped me to know that.

Later, I studied Rudra meditation in Denton, Texas. It was the most formal meditation I ever did. Mostly, I liked the people in the ashram – enough to move in for a few years, and marry one of the teachers.

Breathwork (aka Rebirthing or Vivation or Conscious Connected Breathing) is certainly a meditation of a sort, very active, like much of what Osho/Rajneesh recommended.

My NLP teacher led us through many guided mediations or visualizations in the years I was training in Neurolinguistic Programming. And in those days I bought dozens of Barry Konicov’s Potentials Unlimited self-hypnosis tapes, which again, are a type of meditation.

I was never drawn to TM or Transcendental Meditation. I’m not sure why. I don’t think I was close to anyone who did it and what I had was working just fine.

But now, 3 decades after I first started meditatin, I’ve run across the fastest, deepest meditation so far.

It’s called IAM or Instant Advanced Meditation, created by Steven Sashen.

Instant Advanced Meditation – Free Samples
http://www.advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?af=570391

I love this stuff.

Learning it the first time took maybe 20 minutes for each one, but now I can do one of these IAM meditations for less than 5 minutes and be totally blissed. It’s kinda wild.

I think it would be cool if everyone tried them.

There are 2 free samples up. I’d love to know what you think.

Instant Advanced Meditation – Free Samples
http://www.advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?af=570391

Obviously, I’ve done a *lot* of meditations.

These are most definitely something diffferent.

And they’re about as simple as you can get.

I’d especially love to hear from people who have been meditating forever and people who have never meditated. So far, those extremes have made no difference. Anyone can do these.

Please comment below!

Love,
Stacy

Instant Advanced Meditation – Free Samples
http://www.advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?af=570391

 

Chocolate, the Complete Food

March 5, 2007

Let’s talk about chocolate.

Matthew Middendorf, folk musician extraordinaire, has just released his CD, “Chocolate, the Complete Food,” and that is what prompted this blog.

I’ve always liked chocolate, but I have never been one to crave it or sing its praises the way some of my friends do. As a child, when my grandmother, Mema, took me to the candy counter at the department store, I always chose either white chocolate or tingalings, a minty white chocolate covered candy. I almost never went for actual chocolate.

Somewhere around 2001 this all changed some.

By then, I had sampled enough different chocolates to know that I do really love a dark chocolate. Right now, my favorite is 65% Chocolove, made in Boulder, Colorado, by a man from Belgium and distributed at health food stores. (See what I mean? Betcha didn’t know all of that!)  It’s www.chocolove.com since I know you’re wanting some.

So, I was in this group of friends back then. We were kind of a support group. We called ourselves the God Group. What drew us together was a common love of spiritual discussions. No, not exactly the Christian kind, something very eclectic. We met on Sunday evenings and hung out together talking about what was going on in our lives. Come to think of it, it was mostly stories. Hmm.

Anyways, so I can pretty much tell you everyone’s favorite chocolate and how they take their water. It was just one of those things we noticed. Yes, some of them liked a variety, and some of them would take whatever was handed to them in order not to cause a fuss, but most of us had some pretty well-defined preferences about both chocolate and water (and pretty much everything else).

Think of Sally in the film, When Harry Met Sally. There’s a scene where she’s pretty specific about her food order. We were a room full of people just like that. Fortunately, we met in homes and brought potluck rather than badger waitpersons with our detailed requests.

Chocolate obviously comes in many flavors and forms. You may wonder how there could be so many ways to take water. Okay. I won’t try to list everyone, but here is a partial list as an example:

Becky takes hers hot in a mug and only uses it to warm her fingers. 

Loretta takes hers hot in a mug with lemon and actually drinks it.

Chris takes hers with ice and lemon.

Jared takes his however they bring it to him.

Mindy takes hers no ice, with lemon.

Me, make mine no ice.

See?

But I digress. We were discussing chocolate.

Cricket, lately, has been eating Lindt 77% Dark.

Chris likes Chocolove 65% Dark with Raspberries, and most any kind with fruit.

Loretta goes through phases, always dark. I don’t know what she’s into right now.

Becky goes for dark, doesn’t matter too much what else is there, as long as it’s dark.

Jared doesn’t eat much chocolate, but I’ve seen him take what was offered when it’s there.

Me, like I said, I really like white chocolate, and now dark.

I once had these people over for a party at my place. I bought a natural bridge mix with white and dark chocolate coated nuts, raisins, etc. I set out a bunch in a bowl and then I was busy with my company for a while. When I came back to the living room to check on things, I went to grab some of the white chocolate ones and found only dark!

I hope I wasn’t rude to my company, but I was so surprised, I just said, “What happened to all the white chocolate?” Sheryl piped up and said, “Oh, I ate all those. I love white chocolate.” I looked at her in amazement. No one else of my acquaintance likes white chocolate like I do. It happens that we are both Priest Scholars. Not enough data for a conclusion, but I’m curious whether there are others.

So, last night, when I heard that I needed to move because the home I’m living in is likely to sell and close in less than 2 weeks, what did I do?

I went for chocolate mousse tart in a dark chocolate lined tart shell with pecans and coffee, light and sweet.

Apparently, I have joined the ranks of people for whom chocolate is a comfort food.

Love,

Stacy

Go See the Movie, “Freedom Writers!”

February 7, 2007

Really. Now.

A significant portion of your movie dollar goes to support the Freedom Writers Foundation. See www.freedomwritersfoundation.com 

I saw it last night. You know me, I leave the theater feeling high and  connected after a movie full of truth that makes a difference. I guess I was safe to drive. I got home alright.

I cried. Take your tissues.

I don’t know how to tell you how impactful and moving this movie is.

Yes, I am impacted and moved by many things. My responses were most likely colored by my deep desire to teach classes (more than I do). Also, I recently met a man who was abandoned by his parents at 13 and lived on the streets until someone took him in. He was also one of 2 white guys in an all black school in Colorado. He lived this movie. 

What I did not know, until the end of the movie is that it was real. This movie is based on a true story. I cried across the mall to Borders and bought two copies of the book. One for me, and one for the guy I mentioned above. The clerk at the bookstore was sympathetic. Her husband is a teacher, too. I delivered my friend’s copy to him this morning about 6 am. Why not? I was up. It was important.

OMFG

Erin Gruwell, the teacher who inspired these students to finish schools and help others, is a real person. The book is a real book.

Buy it. Proceeds go to the foundation to provide similar inspiration and training to to more students.

Here is the link to go buy the book. This link takes you to the 1999 cover with a picture of Ms. Gruwell and her real students. There is a movie version of the cover out, too, now.

http://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Writers-Diary-Teacher-Themselves/dp/038549422X/sr=8-1/qid=1170890103/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-8152290-6856167?ie=UTF8&s=books

If you have children. If you have ever been a child. This book is likely to be very, very moving.

I hope I can do a fraction of the good this woman is doing.

Love,

Stacy

No Local Vertical

November 16, 2006

Thanks to Spider Robinson where I first read this concept, and then belatedly (and posthumously) to the immortal Robert A. Heinlein and his Waldo & Magic, Inc.

“Oh Great Wave, wipe away, wipe away my false face.
Awaken from my sleep the Radiant Light.
Touch me! Touch me! I am once again beyond the beyond.
I am that I am.”

sung by Scott Medina

At the end of the Quantum Wealth workshop (www.quantumwealth.com), Steven told how he met a monk who could do that harmonic toning thing with his voice. He asked how they learned that. The monk said that they tone and the student listens. Then the student tries. And on like that until one day the student does it. Apparently, it takes a long time. Steven just said, “Oh.” A couple of days later, he did it. He called the monk, did the tone, and the monk said, “Oh, that is very good.”

He told us we had received the transmission.

I am not sure how many times I’ve taken this workshop, and I imagine I may do it again. It’s a great time. At the same time, I’ve received the transmission. Going to the workshop again or calling Steven up today could be one of my favorite ways to recreate the familiar sense of “me” that I was not recreating so much during the weekend.

Pondering this, I have not gone for a mocha, not left the house, not called Steven, not had breakfast. I did finally eat 2 pieces of chocolate and half a cup of the chocolate-laced Bolder Breakfast Tea. Yum.

While I waited for the tea water to boil, I made a to-do list. I had to laugh. Apparently, I had a few next steps, none of which were chocolate, Steven or mocha. I’m still leaning toward the mocha. Phooey. Because I know if I ingest caffeine, next I’ll crave salt. Sigh One thing at a time.

I put on Scott Medina’s chant CD, too. At first the words seemed to be getting in the way of me-being-with me, another of those things I tend to run from. We all do, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to stay with myself. I let it play while I took a hot bath. Even the bath was pulling me out of myself this morning. When they CD got to “Oh Great Wave” I dropped in. deep breath

Calling people is another way I recreate that familiar sense of “me.”

Yesterday I resisted one of those for hours. Hours and hours. Finally, around 2 pm, I just let go into it and decided I wasn’t going anywhere or calling anyone. I was just going to sit there and be with me. Guess what? Someone called. Funny how these things work.

So, why did I call this blog “No Local Vertical?”

Because it is my sense of things that Spider Robinson uses the idea of no local vertical as a metaphor for not recreating that familiar sense of “me.” Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn’t. But intentional or not, it works anyway, reading his Star Dance trilogy (which I highly recommend to your attention!)

In Star Dance the author talks about how few people can live without a sense of local vertical. You try it. I cannot imagine living in free fall. I can’t even ride a bus without getting seasick! I don’t know what I’d do if suddenly there was no up or down, no floor, no ceiling… and no walls!!!

Yeah, no walls. Between me and me.

And by extension, between me and you.

When those walls drop and I drop in, I think I have a taste of what Spider calls “no local vertical.” I don’t know which way is up. I’m free floating . . . but without the anxiety.

I met a friend for brunch one Sunday morning in that state. I looked into his eyes and for a split moment I couldn’t tell who was who. I drew away from the intimacy of it. My walls went blammo! Back to that familiar sense of self.

And yet I spend a lot of time and money seeking these experiences. Up until 1985 I did it with drugs. Pot, acid, ecstacy, mushrooms … oh mushrooms. Put a few chemicals in my body and the walls came down. But the anxiety stayed. In fact, if memory serves (that was over 20 years ago), if memory serves, the anxiety went up not down.

Now, when I . . . hmm, meet myself, so to speak, without the chemicals, the anxiety is usually absent. When it comes back, boom… there I go, off in search of any of those famous ways to find the familiar local vertical, the familiar sense of “me.” Which, by the way, is contracted and tight and scared and none of those things I know in my heart of hearts that I’d rather be: expansive and relaxed and alive and aware.

Somehow this weekend I got an even deeper sense of the “looking forward to” that Byron Katie uses in the Turn Around for Question #6. (If you don’t know what that is, look it up on www.thework.org) or keep reading.

Question #6 is “What is it you never want to experience with that person again?”

Right now, I might say that I never want to experience anxiety or running from presence with myself or using coffee, chocolate, phone calls and emails to recreate that familiar sense of “me.”

Is that true? Check. No, I get a contraction in my solar plexus.

Can I absolutely know that that’s true? Nope. Very tight. Clearly I’m lying to myself.

How do I react when I believe that thought or story or . . . lie? Make a list.

Oh Jesus.

I eat chocolate. I crave mocha. I crave teriyaki chicken. I call people. I email people. I take workshops. I read books. I turn on music to drown out my thoughts. I stress. I think poorly of myself. I think poorly of others. I have long arguments in my mind with myself and others. I obsess. I have sex. I run from myself.

Who would you be without that thought or story or lie?

High as a kite. Expansive. Relaxed. Open. Clear. Available. Unafraid. Peaceful.

(“Is that all?” we ask with a smile.)

Turn it Around (to self, other or opposite)

I am willing to experience anxiety or running from presence with myself or using coffee, chocolate, phone calls and emails to recreate that familiar sense of “me.”

Is that thought at least as true? (as the lie . . . lol)

Yes. Definitely. Why not? It hasn’t killed me yet! I actually enjoy some of those things sometimes.

Can you find another turn around?

Sure.

I look forward to experiencing anxiety or running from presence with myself or using coffee chocolate, phone calls and emails to recreate that familiar sense of “me.”

Is that thought at least as true?

God, yes. Doing that shows me the next step to take, gives me gifts of expanded clarity beyond the beyond. I am that I am.

“Oh Great Wave, wipe away, wipe away my false face.
Awaken from my sleep the Radiant Light.
Touch me! Touch me! I am once again beyond the beyond.
I am that I am.”

sung by Scott Medina . . . and me!